Crying in babies

What is excessive crying?

In the literature, there is often talk of excessive crying or infantile colic. Traditionally, the “3-rule” was used: more than 3 hours per day, more than 3 days per week, longer than 3 weeks.

But modern insights show that crying behavior is much more individual than we used to think. The well-known crying curve by Brazelton (with a peak around 6 weeks) is now seen more nuanced. What is important to know: in the vast majority of cases, there is no medical cause for excessive crying.

That does not mean it is “all in the head.” It means that crying is usually part of development.

Why do babies cry so much?

Crying is a baby’s most important means of communication. Besides body language, it is the way your baby can say:

• I am hungry
• I am tired
• I am in pain
• I am overstimulated
• I need you

Often it is a combination. And it helps to recognize what kind of crying you are seeing.

Different types of crying

1. Needs crying

This is the most recognizable crying. There is often a clear cause: hunger, fatigue, a full diaper, or a need for closeness. When you respond to the need, the crying usually stops.

2. Overstimulation and the nervous system

A newborn brain is still immature. The nervous system cannot yet regulate stimuli well. Especially towards the end of the day, you often see a peak: the day has been full of impressions, the rhythm is still developing, and your baby cannot yet “switch off.”

What we experience as inconsolable is often a baby who is neurologically overstimulated.

3. Intestinal complaints and reflux

Colic and reflux are often cited as the primary causes. At the same time, nuance is important. Intestinal cramps are often related to an immature gut flora, gas formation, and swallowing air during feeding. Reflux can occur because the sphincter between the stomach and esophagus is still immature.

Not every crying baby has reflux or cramps, but for some babies, it does play a role. Then it’s helpful to look at the whole picture: feeding, posture, rest, and sensory processing.

4. Tension- or trauma-related crying

Sometimes you see crying that suddenly becomes intense, where you have tried everything and nothing helps. The body can feel tense and some babies break eye contact. This type of crying can be extremely hard for parents.

Sometimes crying is a release mechanism for tension. In those moments, your closeness is not “spoiling,” but a basic condition for safety.

Let cry or comfort instead?

Over the years, roughly two approaches have emerged: “cry it out” (extinction) versus a sensitive, responsive approach. My starting point is: secure attachment is biology. Closeness and security are essential for a baby to be able to regulate.

Babies often cry less when they are carried sufficiently every day. Carrying provides warmth, rhythm, containment, and helps your baby settle into their body.

When should you seek medical help?

Contact your general practitioner or consultation bureau if there is fever, lethargy, poor feeding, weight loss, or when your baby cries continuously without rest periods. And perhaps most importantly: when you notice it is becoming too much for you mentally.

My vision as a neonatology nurse and baby coach

After nearly 30 years of experience, I see again and again: excessive crying is rarely one thing. It is often a combination of immature regulation, stimuli, nutrition, interaction, and parental tension. It does not require a quick trick, but observation, feeling, and attunement. And sometimes guidance.

I have given training on this subject during the maternity care professional days at the RAI, to maternity nurses, pediatric and youth nurses. I was also involved in setting up a crying baby clinic in the Amsterdam region.